II. When weird people met

They say that there is no such thing as perfection.

Until she came around. She showed him what it means to be perfect.

A perfect void.

She said it was “total emptiness”, or so he thought.

- I was born like this, I think. I tried to learn everything by myself, my parents weren’t very fond of me and most of the time, it was my grandmother who looked after me. Truthfully speaking, I didn’t like the times when I had to be with my parents, it was pretty tense. They kept on pestering me about going to a boarding school for kids like me, but of course, I didn’t like the idea one bit, so I fought back. I was 5 back then, if I remember correctly. 

- That sounds tough. So were they able to make you go?

- Who do you think I am? There is no way I would be kick out of my town. I know that I was a burden to them, so I just stay away as much as possible from them. Then a wonderful thing happened, as a reward for my hard work.

- You could see?

- No, are you stupid? My brother was born when I was 6. Since then, my parents spent all the time with him, as they finally found the light at the end of the tunnel. To them, he was their only child. And I was grateful for that, really. I didn’t have to suffer the suffocating atmosphere whenever they were around. Even though I could feel that they’re still irritated since they had to raise me as their duty of being parents. So I tried my best to live alone as soon as I could.

- That sounds impossible.

- Well, it’s in the nature for human to adapt with the situation. For you to be blind right now, you may think that it is impossible. But I was born blind, so I get used to it and make it through. You could say that I “see” things in my own way. Or a super power.

- That’s how it works for you I guess. But about your grandmother, how was her reaction to your situation? Judging on how you tell your story, I could only tell she’s no more than a scarecrow. No offense.

- Yeah, grandma is kind, but being kind is also mean being weak. She tried to talk to my parents many times, but all she received was cold sighs and cliché like they’re doing favor by letting both of us stay in the house. Well it was to be expected to me though, but somehow grandma was troubled by it. That was when I told her about moving out. And grandma agreed to go with me.

- That didn’t sound like living alone to me. Apparently you lived with your grandma.

-But not for long. We lived a few years together. She died when I was 12, or 13? I didn’t remember exactly but around that time. It was a traffic accident.

- It seems like your life is nothing but a chain of misery. If I could feel bad, I totally would.

- Nah, it wasn’t that bad. Remember why I told you we are somehow similar? That’s because I couldn’t feel sad. When I was told about my grandma death, it wasn’t sadness that I felt, it was fatigue.It was like my body being stretched out after a long marathon, then suddenly stop. I couldn’t think of anything, so I just collapsed on the floor. The landlady thought that I was shocked upon hearing the news, but I was just... tired. Probably that was my way of feeling sad.

- You too are weird you know. At least you should be crying, even I know that much.

- Thanks, I don’t want to hear that from you.

- So after that, you lived alone from then on? Did your parents ever come?

- No, but they did me a favor by not showing up anymore. Before that, they often came to our place and discussed something with my grandma. I didn’t know exactly what they was talking about, but I guess it was about the financial support. They gave grandma a large sum of money, said it was the money for my education and such. He was a father after all.

- And that was your last time you hear from them?

- Indeed. The landlady was also very nice. She knew about my situation so she let me stay at her apartment, and the rent is really flexible, since I insisted on paying.  It’s like she took me in and make me her daughter. That makes me somewhat happy. I have never known what it’s like to have a mother. Oh just to be clear, grandma told me that my mom died giving birth to me, and my dad remarried to another woman, who gave him a son. The current one is my step mother.

- I see...

- Is that it?

- What?

- After hearing my tragic story, all you can come up with is “I see”, are you for real? At least pretend to be sympathize will you?

- Why should I pretend? Aren’t you the same with me?

The girl, with a smile on her face, keep on talking while tears keeps on dripping from her pitch black eyes. The guy, sitting next to her show no emotion, just like a living doll.

They are familiar with how other person goes. Probably what you call soul mates. She has no need for a comfort, she just wants someone to listen, someone to be there, and see her cry. That’s all there is to their relationship. A seeker, and a hollow.

----------

The blind girl was talking a stroll in the park, she sensed a strange person sitting at the bench. That person didn’t gave off any senses like others, it was more like she was standing in front of a deep dark hole, with no sign of life.

The guy, noticing the girl standing in front of him, looked up, just to see that her eyes weren’t looking at him. Or rather, those eyes weren’t looking at anything.

- Is there a problem?

He asked, didn’t like being “looked at” like that.

- You... You are empty.

- I’m sorry?

Obviously the guy was trouble by that out-of-nowhere statement. The girl, on the other hand, failed to notice his expression, sitting down next to him.

- Ah no, would you mind if I sit here?

She asked, already sat down.

- Do you have business with me?

He asked, looking at her cane. She must be blind, he guessed, since the way her eyes look was just too...blank.

- Can a girl just take a sit when she is tired? Or is this sit taken?

- Errrr no it’s not taken, but...

- Oh, then I must be troubling you. Sorry for my rudeness.

She said, making her way to stand up. Her hand touched the cane and made it fall to the ground. Looking at how she flailed her hand in search for it, he let out a sigh.

- It’s okay, you don’t have to leave. I was just surprised, that’s all.

- I see, even you can say such things like “surprise”.

The girl kept saying strange thing, half of which he couldn’t understand, the other half seemed to annoy him.

- Do I know you miss? Because you keep talking as if you have known me before.

- I believe this is our first time meeting.

Then why do you keep acting all so familiar? That question was written all over his face.

They just sat there, said nothing more to each other. He took a peek at the one next to him. A real beauty, he admitted to himself. Long black hair, small shape of face, slender body. But thinking it wouldn’t be nice to stare at a blind girl like that, he turned his head away.

- People always say that Iam really beautiful, but I think they’re just flatter for a blind lass. As for me, I can’t tell what beauty is.

She suddenly spoke, which startled him a bit. He knew he should say something too, even though he didn’t want to.

- Do you ever want to find out?

- I have no need. Besides, isn’t that better to not know? I mean if I’m actually ugly, then it would shatter the image of a beauty me I have in mind for all that time.

- You choose to lie to yourself.

He spoke coldly.

- You’re pretty straight forward aren’t you? I prefer the word “delusion” more.

- Whatever, you always talk to strangers like that?

- Nope, I choose the one I will talk to. So that I can make sure I will never lost interest.

What a weird girl. Cute, but weird as hell. Now that they were talking, he happened to take a look at her eyes. Since she was blind, her eyes were just for show, he thought. But they were very alluring to some extents. Her dark sparkling eyes with gave off the feeling of infinity, as if you were gazing into the night sky, without any signs of stars.

- How did you become blind?

He asked, not once hesitate. That was unnecessary for him after all.

- Seriously, you ask a blind girl whom you meet for the first time why was she blind? You sure are not delicate at all.

- That’s how I keep my interest in the conversation. It’s fine, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I’m not really care anyway.

- Then I won’t. Not for now, I think.

- That’s so.

A few more seconds passed in silence.

- How does it feel? 

The girl suddenly spoke again, while preparing to leave.

- Huh?                                                                                                     

There’s no way he could cope with that out-of-no-where question.

- You know, like when your life doesn’t seem real at all, and you’re just floating around, on your own?

What now?

- Umm... I don’t quite understand your point.

- You don’t understand, or do you keep yourself from understanding? Either ways, I guess the only one who knows is you right?

Just who was this girl? Why did she bring up this?

- Sorry but I don’t feel comfortable to continue talking like this.

As he was about to stand up and leave, she continued:

- Don’t worry, from this point on, you are not alone anymore.

With that, she put a smile on her face, a kind of smile that made you feel peaceful to the core.

But he’d already walked away, without looking back.

Still sitting there at the bench, the girl turned her head up, as if looking at the sky.

You find no reason to live, yet you have no courage to end your meaningless life. You hold no meanings, but you yearn for it. You want to be filled. That’s what you call a hollow.

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