Aug 21, 2013

Chapter 5: Confrontation (2)

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It's a rainy Sunday. And I was fooled by the beautiful sun rays in the morning, how naive of me. Just stay inside the house watching it rain could drive me nuts, so I decided to take my umbrella and go out for a little stroll.

It's drizzle, but enought to make people rushing on the street. I walked around the neighbourhood, without destination. I truly hoped that I could find something, or someone, that would bring any light of facination, or at least, something worth paying attention to. Well, it would be too much of asking in such weather. As far as I could tell, there was only me in the street. The rain had done well on keeping people in their houses, it's the holiday after all. He was sleeping, or so I guess. Normally he wasn't very much active at this time of day. Eventhough the last few days were kinda strange when he got work up quite hard, and he was even active in a full day. All that happened since that day. 

It was nearly three weeks.

I could still remember as if it was just yesterday.

Somehow, I couldn't forget.

                     -"if we see each other again, you'll tell me yours and I'll tell you mine."-

"Again huh? I doubt that." I talked to myself.
Whatever the feeling I had that time, it was unexplainable. Could it be that I was overwhelmed by what happened that drove me to paranoid? or could it be the feeling of a boy who confronted the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen in his life? 

"No, that's just stupid." I instanly wiped that thought out of my head. To have of such ridiculous thinking, how foolish of me. I had to keep in mind that she could be able to "see" him-my soul, as a glow of light, from which I could tell was not normal at all. She's definitely not normal. But she didn't mean no harm, or well, at that time at least. It's hard to tell if she's always like that. She's a girl after all, the most unstable species on earth according to my knowledge and experience. 

As I kept on loitering, the rain started to get heavier. Now that  I'd walked a little too far from home, so going back in this weather would take some efforts. 

"Shit, I shouldn't think too much while walking." Yeah, I could only blame it on my brain for distracting my off my route. Looking at where I was standing, it could be 6 blocks away to return. I had no option but to find a place to stay away from the rain. So I rushed my way and as soon as I could realize, I found myself in the familiar book store. 

"Why so hurry in such nice weather?" The shop keeper greeted me. She's only 3 years older than me, but had done well on setting up this business. Although it's just a small shop, but it had survived for a considerable time. She said that it was really difficult to run this store all alone, especially at the beginning. I admired her for this. Some strong woman she is. Mentally I mean, not sure about physically.

"You can't tell? I'm exercising. Just take a small break before continue, wanna join?" I was well-prepared for her attack.
"Hey hey now, why so aggressive bro? I just asking. Oh I just got some new books, about medieval I guess. Those things are really hard to sell. Luckily I know a weirdo who takes interest in that specific area. So wanna get them cheap? I can lower down a bit for you." 

When it came to books, especially about history, medieval time, I had a really hard time to resist. My allowance wasn't really much flexible so I had to consider carefully when buying something. But it had come to books, history books. 

I surrendered.
"Is that so? Alright, show me what you have in your inventory. Make sure they're cheap, or I will eat them to live." I totally gave up to my passion.

"Kay, I know you would bite it. Wait here." She leapt through the checkout and disappeared into the door which was surrounded by a pile of books.

"Take your time, I'll make myself comfortable." I called out.

"Let see what we have here." This shop was the only place that I'd visited more than my room. So basically this would be my emergency shelter if I had nowhere to run to. I made myself a cup of mint tea, not too hot, to enjoy the raining scene. I took the chair and gave myself a quick rest. It's autumn and running in the rain could be really cold sometimes. 

....
....
....
I almost felt asleep. The fatigue and the warmth of the tea was hardcore  sleeping pills if I must say. Damn that woman sure took her time.

"Sorry for the wait, there's a leak and I have to cover it up before the books get wet. Here you go, any interest?" She looked wet from the shoulder to the head, while her hand held some really heavy books. She handed the books for me and I gazed through the title. 

The fall of Arthur. "This is not even about the medieval time, is it?" 

""Hm? I thought king Arthur's time was medieval? or not? But it's the history that you're fond of, so doesn't matter."

How could a bookseller not know about what she's selling, I wondered.

Jeanne d'Arc, the maid of Orleans. "What about this one?"  She asked?

"It looks nice, I haven't read much about French."

 I didn't know much about the French history, but the name Jeanne d'Arc was far too popular. This could make a good read in some rainy days.

She showed me some other books too, which I found really hard to digest. History of catholic, the civilization of ancient Greek, and what the hell, the foundation of philosophy, really? 

"I'll take those two, thank you. The rest are just overpower, so good luck with them." 
"Jeez, guess that's still something even weirdo like you can't even handle." She sighted, disappoint at the fact that those books would stay, maybe forever.

"Stop calling me weirdo if you want two more to stay, so how much?
"Right, I'll take the price of the cheaper one, the other you can take as a gift." She said something really odd for a business person.

"Really? Is today my birthday yet? Come on, there's nothing for free."

"Nope, but consider this as a tribute to the most valuable customer. And actually today is exactly 5 years since I opened this shop, so you know."

"Oh, 5 years already? Damn time flies fast as hell. So okay then, thank you for the books." 

It was still raining, but not as fiercely as before. Biting her goodbye, I readied my umbrella and headed out. I could have stay there for a while till the rain stop, but I felt uncomfortable. If I stayed, I had to talk, which I didn't like, and didn't want. I tried to minimize the time of communicating with others as much as I could. Even I with people I do not hate, I found it really hard to keep talking. My mother one said I was too introvert, that's all. Well, I really hoped that's all of my inability to like people.

As I kept thinking about trivia matters, my legs guided me in my way home. 

Until I bump into an unexpected person, in an unexpected situation.
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That's how we meet again.
But this time, something's wrong. 

It's looked like she's in pain. Leaning on the wall, she slowly drags herself in the rain. She doesn't seems to notice that I'm walking toward her direction, and continue struggling with her steps.

I don't know what to do, I could just come and ask her condition, but from the last encounter, my soul told me to be more careful and not to act recklessly. Damn you, where are you when I need you the most?

And then, as a sign for me to make my decision, the girl collapses to the ground. 

I stop thinking and run to her place. He may scold me later, but I have to do what is right, and this is what I think is right - helping her.

When I reach to her, she is trying to get up on her knee, pushing herself up with her arms. 

"...you okay?" Dumb question, of course she's not.

"Huh?" she turns her face to the direction of my voice. She's soaked up, which means she has been walking in the rain, for a while. Her golden hairs are now all wet and cover her beautiful face. Looking down to her, I think of a lost child, who has nowhere to go to. Then she speaks again, her voice is soft as ever.

"Ah, it's you. I remember you. Your name?" She doesn't sound tired at all. Maybe she just try to hide it.

"My name?" I'm caught by surprise.

"Yes, we made a deal last time. Now we have met, human, tell me your name and I will tell you mine." That speech pattern sounds kind of high-born.

"Oh right. I'm Kai, and you're?" I try my best to make a friendly smile, even though it's all chaos inside me.

"ummm... Thera, with the "h"." With a bit of hesitation, she tells me her name. 

"Fine whatever, are you hurt? you do not look well." I somehow put aside the fact that she just told me her name, because I have something more important to paying my mind to. 

"Hmm, do not mind me, it's nothing. I'm fine by mysel..." Then she collapse again. This is no good, she must be really weak right now. Even a total dork with no medication knowledge like me can tell. I see no blood nor injuries on the outside. Could it be the inner injuries? That would be hell worse.

"Nope, you can't even stand up. Here, take this, keep yourself from the rain." 

I give her my coat and umbrella while calling to the pedestrian walking toward us for help. But he doesn't react. What a jerk, I thought to myself.

Then I run out to call for others, but it's no use. Seems like they don't notice me, or sort of. That's just weird.
And I heard her voice again.

"Don't waste your effort, no one can notice you." She's now sitting, back against the wall.

"What do you mean?" There it is, that feel again.

"I've put a barrier around me as I moving. No one can notice anything within a radius of 30 meters from me."

What? is that supposed to be a joke?

"From what I can tell, she's probably right, no one can notice you either. That's something out of the normal knowledge if I must say." The voice that I wanted to hear, finally.

"Damn, you know when to pop out don't you?" I relieve to hear his voice, but at the same time angry a bit about he leaving me all alone to deal with the situation.

When we are busy arguing, I fail to notice that the girl has already walked to my place and now she standing in front of me. 

"I have something to ask you two." She goes.

"eh? Are you okay now, you shouldn't expose to the rain like this." That's not what we are expecting, so I try to make an escape. But she ignores my attempt and continues.

"Right now, I need a place to stay. Since I have where to go to and I don't know anybody in this town, I think that you two are reliable. So can you take me as a refugee?" 

Outrageous. How outrageous. We can't agree with each other more.


-End chapter 5-


Aug 11, 2013

Chapter 4: Waking up

Another dream?
What am I seeing
A sea of fire / Crumbling world.
Everything's collapsed
Everything's burned to the ground.

What power am I holding in my hand?
Dancing flame?
Decaying earth?
Withered ocean?
I recall those.
But I know that I do not have such powers.
Then
What happened?
Who did this?
Why am I here? Watching it? All alone?

But it doesn't matter anymore.
I want to be like this.
I want to watch everything in flame.
I want to see the sight of no human left in this world.

Is it the dream?
Or is it the visualisation of a wish?
..........
..........
Whose wish?

It was as if I saw through the eyes of another. Eventhough it looked real, it still feel very strange. No, I didn't feel anything, all I did was just stood there and watched, that's all. I shouldn't question it much since dreams could be strange some time, and that dream was not an exception.

However,

Why I felt the urge back then?
Why is that sensation?
Why I enjoyed the scene?

"Thing happens for reason you know." There he goes again.
"And what reason could it be sir know-it-all?" His way of speaking makes him sound like a old wizard, which annoys me sometimes.
"It's hard to say, but I can only guess. Could be your desire perhaps?" He speaks of an outrageous thing.
"My desire? Don't be silly, do I look like someone who ask for such thing?" That's truly surprise me. I have never, and will never, ask for that destruction - or so I thought.
"Why ask me?" - He replies - "You may not know it yet, or you are only avoiding it, whatever the case. But one thing you can't deny is the feeling from that dream, the feeling when you behold that view, am I right?" Now he turns to a sneering voice that of a devil, if devil exists. That question make me go blank for a moment.

It's right
I suppose to be affraid
I suppose to run away
I suppose to look for others.
But what did I do?
Nothing, but enjoyed.

"Okay now that's scary, are you telling me that I'm a cold-blood murder in my dream?" 
"Don't jump to the conclusion yet, you just happened to be there if I remember correctly. It's normal to be in a middle of something when dreaming right?  So we can't say that you're the culprit. And besides, I don't believe you have the attributes to become one though." He chuckles.

Another way to say that I'm useless. But it's the fact I can't deny, even if I want to.
"Well as much as I want to stay and argue with you about that matter, I still need to grab something for my stomach first, so talk later ok?"

Right now, I don't feel like talking about that subject. I don't want to think of that image, it's just wrong. Wrong to enjoyed, wrong to watched. And the idea of me being the one who was behind that is something I can't stand. So I try to avoid it by not thinking of it.

After doing the same morning routine of  brushing teeth, washing face, etc., I go downstairs to get some breakfast. Currently, I'm living alone since my parents have gone to the other side of the country to take care of some business. It's highly unlikely that they're going to return soon, at least until next month, which mean I will stay like this for at least a month. However, I like to live like this. All alone, by myself, without having to interact with others. I'm pretty bad at communicating with people, therefore I try not to as much as I can. People may think it's some kind of anti-social behaviourism, but it's fine for me. At least I'm still having daily conversation with him, to remind me of how to talk, and get over with boredom.

"Meow!" 
Oh, it's not only me after all. We have a cat, and two birds. Normally, my farther took care of the birds while the cats under my mother's wings. But due to the recent changes, I'm the one to take care of them. Well the birds may not trouble me much, but this cat is really problematic sometimes.

"Meow, meow." She keeps growling, definitely for breakfast too. You're not the one who need breakfast, chill down a bit. She follows me as I walk to the fridge. There was some fish my mother prepared as the cat's food before she left ( cause I can't do such thing), so I just need to take out some and heat it up.

"Meow, MEOWWW". The hell? did she just yell at me? Calm down ok? Can't you see that I'm making your meal at the moment? Pets these days, no patient nor respect for their owners.

"Here, enjoy your meal, milady." 
She sniff the bowl and...walks away. Just as usual. But the bowl will be empty, till evening, or tomorrow morning. 
As I am about to cook myself some noodle, the door bell rings. What now? I asked myself and come to open the door, leaving the opened noodle pack.

"Yo, up already? What a surprise, planning going somewhere?"

As normal, my sister has a habit of giving questions in place of greeting and doesn't expect the answers very much. The somewhat peacefucl pace of the morning makes me forget that she will come by around this time, to check on me-as ordered- and the house.

"Morning" I reluctanly greet her. 

"Sooo, what's for breakfast?" She's used to my non-interest attitude and begin the interrogation.

"Just noodle, have some pork spare from yesterday."
"Kay, sound nutrious enough, but don't eat noodle everydays, it's not good for health you know. You should eat more vegetable and aquatic food to balance your diet...." and she keeps on lecturing.

".....oh, and have you feed Shaggy? and the birds?" She just remembers her other duty.
"Yes, didn't touch it, the birds still have enough." I continue to do my thing and ignore her digging in the fridge.

"Hmm, because you're not mom. So what'd you like for dinner?"

"Whatever". Men, just go to work already, you're ruining my pleasant morning.

"Everytime I ask you always say whatever, is that "whatever" thing that tasty? I should try myself sometime. You're like a monk bro. Okay then, I'll grab whatever I can for dinner." With that, she glance to the clock and rush to the door.

"Shit, almost time, gotta run, bye, see ya at dinner." Aaand she's gone.

That's my older sister, always full of energy, not very likely for a woman of her mid twenties and already married. She's the type of sister who will teach you how to swim by pushing you into the water untill you can swim or you drown, whatever come first. It's not like I dislike her, it is her enthusiasm and pushy personality annoys me a bit. I mean, can't she slow down a little? But I have to admit that she's a good sister, even when she's now married and move to her husband house, It's been 5 months but she still regularly drops by. I guess even if my parents didn't ask her to she would still check on me every days. After all, a responsible one.

Zoning out for a while, the heat of boiling water pulls me back to reality. Soaking the noodle into water, and cover it up, I turn on the tv to find if there's any interest news.

"A great fire burst out in the northern forest and continue to spread. It seems to be a group of camper had recklessly left their camp-fire burning quietly. Local authority is doing their best to stop the fire before it reaches to the resident area. For the detail infor......"

[Channel switching]

"100 were injured and more than 50 were announced to be missing when a hurricane arrived at the west coast. And this is not the final number of casualty since the hurricane is still moving......"

[Channel switching]

"We're reporting live at the scenery of the suicidal attack. It is speculated that the terrorists had the bomb well hidden inside their jackets and they targeted the crowd only. The identities of the terrorists remain unknown, but it looks like the work of zealots......"

I turn the tv off, those are not such things to watch to start a day with. What's wrong with this world, really?

"Everything is wrong I guess." For a moment, I thought I was alone, but yeah, privacy is a luxury I cannot afford.

"What do you mean by everything?"

""Well, to put it bluntly, and to recap what you've watched, I'll go like this: Human's destroying the world, the world pays back by disaster. Human think of a way to make their life better, even blindly believe in something that they don't even know. In the end, human is destroying themselves. That's the meaning of everything for me."

His idea is kinda messed up, but I can see a points. We, human, always put our benefit, our well-being to the top priority. Human will try every method possible to reach for their ultimate goals, without knowing the consequences. Human struggle to survive, human blindly fight for their believe.

Human is ugly, is that what you're trying to say?

And then, a flash of memory comes through my mind.

A sea of fire / Dancing flame.
Ruins of civilization / Decaying earth.
A world of emptiness / Withered ocean.

I see them all, I feel them all.
I'm content with this ominous scene, but I have a sense of regret.

Like an artist watching his finest piece of art burned
He set it on fire.
Because it's destroying him, so he has no choice.

Then I am awaken by the smell of ready noodle.

-End chapter 4-

Chapter 3

Chapter 5