Another dream?
What am I seeing
A sea of fire / Crumbling world.
Everything's collapsed
Everything's burned to the ground.
What power am I holding in my hand?
Dancing flame?
Decaying earth?
Withered ocean?
I recall those.
But I know that I do not have such powers.
Then
What happened?
Who did this?
Why am I here? Watching it? All alone?
But it doesn't matter anymore.
I want to be like this.
I want to watch everything in flame.
I want to see the sight of no human left in this world.
Is it the dream?
Or is it the visualisation of a wish?
..........
..........
Whose wish?
It was as if I saw through the eyes of another. Eventhough it looked real, it still feel very strange. No, I didn't feel anything, all I did was just stood there and watched, that's all. I shouldn't question it much since dreams could be strange some time, and that dream was not an exception.
However,
Why I felt the urge back then?
Why is that sensation?
Why I enjoyed the scene?
"Thing happens for reason you know." There he goes again.
"And what reason could it be sir know-it-all?" His way of speaking makes him sound like a old wizard, which annoys me sometimes.
"It's hard to say, but I can only guess. Could be your desire perhaps?" He speaks of an outrageous thing.
"My desire? Don't be silly, do I look like someone who ask for such thing?" That's truly surprise me. I have never, and will never, ask for that destruction - or so I thought.
"Why ask me?" - He replies - "You may not know it yet, or you are only avoiding it, whatever the case. But one thing you can't deny is the feeling from that dream, the feeling when you behold that view, am I right?" Now he turns to a sneering voice that of a devil, if devil exists. That question make me go blank for a moment.
It's right
I suppose to be affraid
I suppose to run away
I suppose to look for others.
But what did I do?
Nothing, but enjoyed.
"Okay now that's scary, are you telling me that I'm a cold-blood murder in my dream?"
"Don't jump to the conclusion yet, you just happened to be there if I remember correctly. It's normal to be in a middle of something when dreaming right? So we can't say that you're the culprit. And besides, I don't believe you have the attributes to become one though." He chuckles.
Another way to say that I'm useless. But it's the fact I can't deny, even if I want to.
"Well as much as I want to stay and argue with you about that matter, I still need to grab something for my stomach first, so talk later ok?"
Right now, I don't feel like talking about that subject. I don't want to think of that image, it's just wrong. Wrong to enjoyed, wrong to watched. And the idea of me being the one who was behind that is something I can't stand. So I try to avoid it by not thinking of it.
After doing the same morning routine of brushing teeth, washing face, etc., I go downstairs to get some breakfast. Currently, I'm living alone since my parents have gone to the other side of the country to take care of some business. It's highly unlikely that they're going to return soon, at least until next month, which mean I will stay like this for at least a month. However, I like to live like this. All alone, by myself, without having to interact with others. I'm pretty bad at communicating with people, therefore I try not to as much as I can. People may think it's some kind of anti-social behaviourism, but it's fine for me. At least I'm still having daily conversation with him, to remind me of how to talk, and get over with boredom.
"Meow!"
Oh, it's not only me after all. We have a cat, and two birds. Normally, my farther took care of the birds while the cats under my mother's wings. But due to the recent changes, I'm the one to take care of them. Well the birds may not trouble me much, but this cat is really problematic sometimes.
"Meow, meow." She keeps growling, definitely for breakfast too. You're not the one who need breakfast, chill down a bit. She follows me as I walk to the fridge. There was some fish my mother prepared as the cat's food before she left ( cause I can't do such thing), so I just need to take out some and heat it up.
"Meow, MEOWWW". The hell? did she just yell at me? Calm down ok? Can't you see that I'm making your meal at the moment? Pets these days, no patient nor respect for their owners.
"Here, enjoy your meal, milady."
She sniff the bowl and...walks away. Just as usual. But the bowl will be empty, till evening, or tomorrow morning.
As I am about to cook myself some noodle, the door bell rings. What now? I asked myself and come to open the door, leaving the opened noodle pack.
"Yo, up already? What a surprise, planning going somewhere?"
As normal, my sister has a habit of giving questions in place of greeting and doesn't expect the answers very much. The somewhat peacefucl pace of the morning makes me forget that she will come by around this time, to check on me-as ordered- and the house.
"Morning" I reluctanly greet her.
"Sooo, what's for breakfast?" She's used to my non-interest attitude and begin the interrogation.
"Just noodle, have some pork spare from yesterday."
"Kay, sound nutrious enough, but don't eat noodle everydays, it's not good for health you know. You should eat more vegetable and aquatic food to balance your diet...." and she keeps on lecturing.
".....oh, and have you feed Shaggy? and the birds?" She just remembers her other duty.
"Yes, didn't touch it, the birds still have enough." I continue to do my thing and ignore her digging in the fridge.
"Hmm, because you're not mom. So what'd you like for dinner?"
"Whatever". Men, just go to work already, you're ruining my pleasant morning.
"Everytime I ask you always say whatever, is that "whatever" thing that tasty? I should try myself sometime. You're like a monk bro. Okay then, I'll grab whatever I can for dinner." With that, she glance to the clock and rush to the door.
"Shit, almost time, gotta run, bye, see ya at dinner." Aaand she's gone.
That's my older sister, always full of energy, not very likely for a woman of her mid twenties and already married. She's the type of sister who will teach you how to swim by pushing you into the water untill you can swim or you drown, whatever come first. It's not like I dislike her, it is her enthusiasm and pushy personality annoys me a bit. I mean, can't she slow down a little? But I have to admit that she's a good sister, even when she's now married and move to her husband house, It's been 5 months but she still regularly drops by. I guess even if my parents didn't ask her to she would still check on me every days. After all, a responsible one.
Zoning out for a while, the heat of boiling water pulls me back to reality. Soaking the noodle into water, and cover it up, I turn on the tv to find if there's any interest news.
"A great fire burst out in the northern forest and continue to spread. It seems to be a group of camper had recklessly left their camp-fire burning quietly. Local authority is doing their best to stop the fire before it reaches to the resident area. For the detail infor......"
[Channel switching]
"100 were injured and more than 50 were announced to be missing when a hurricane arrived at the west coast. And this is not the final number of casualty since the hurricane is still moving......"
[Channel switching]
"We're reporting live at the scenery of the suicidal attack. It is speculated that the terrorists had the bomb well hidden inside their jackets and they targeted the crowd only. The identities of the terrorists remain unknown, but it looks like the work of zealots......"
I turn the tv off, those are not such things to watch to start a day with. What's wrong with this world, really?
"Everything is wrong I guess." For a moment, I thought I was alone, but yeah, privacy is a luxury I cannot afford.
"What do you mean by everything?"
""Well, to put it bluntly, and to recap what you've watched, I'll go like this: Human's destroying the world, the world pays back by disaster. Human think of a way to make their life better, even blindly believe in something that they don't even know. In the end, human is destroying themselves. That's the meaning of everything for me."
His idea is kinda messed up, but I can see a points. We, human, always put our benefit, our well-being to the top priority. Human will try every method possible to reach for their ultimate goals, without knowing the consequences. Human struggle to survive, human blindly fight for their believe.
Human is ugly, is that what you're trying to say?
And then, a flash of memory comes through my mind.
A sea of fire / Dancing flame.
Ruins of civilization / Decaying earth.
A world of emptiness / Withered ocean.
I see them all, I feel them all.
I'm content with this ominous scene, but I have a sense of regret.
Like an artist watching his finest piece of art burned
He set it on fire.
Because it's destroying him, so he has no choice.
Then I am awaken by the smell of ready noodle.
-End chapter 4-
Chapter 3
Chapter 5
Zoning out for a while, the heat of boiling water pulls me back to reality. Soaking the noodle into water, and cover it up, I turn on the tv to find if there's any interest news.
"A great fire burst out in the northern forest and continue to spread. It seems to be a group of camper had recklessly left their camp-fire burning quietly. Local authority is doing their best to stop the fire before it reaches to the resident area. For the detail infor......"
[Channel switching]
"100 were injured and more than 50 were announced to be missing when a hurricane arrived at the west coast. And this is not the final number of casualty since the hurricane is still moving......"
[Channel switching]
"We're reporting live at the scenery of the suicidal attack. It is speculated that the terrorists had the bomb well hidden inside their jackets and they targeted the crowd only. The identities of the terrorists remain unknown, but it looks like the work of zealots......"
I turn the tv off, those are not such things to watch to start a day with. What's wrong with this world, really?
"Everything is wrong I guess." For a moment, I thought I was alone, but yeah, privacy is a luxury I cannot afford.
"What do you mean by everything?"
""Well, to put it bluntly, and to recap what you've watched, I'll go like this: Human's destroying the world, the world pays back by disaster. Human think of a way to make their life better, even blindly believe in something that they don't even know. In the end, human is destroying themselves. That's the meaning of everything for me."
His idea is kinda messed up, but I can see a points. We, human, always put our benefit, our well-being to the top priority. Human will try every method possible to reach for their ultimate goals, without knowing the consequences. Human struggle to survive, human blindly fight for their believe.
Human is ugly, is that what you're trying to say?
And then, a flash of memory comes through my mind.
A sea of fire / Dancing flame.
Ruins of civilization / Decaying earth.
A world of emptiness / Withered ocean.
I see them all, I feel them all.
I'm content with this ominous scene, but I have a sense of regret.
Like an artist watching his finest piece of art burned
He set it on fire.
Because it's destroying him, so he has no choice.
Then I am awaken by the smell of ready noodle.
-End chapter 4-
Chapter 3
Chapter 5
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